"When we state that it is a mitzva to love people, this means that it makes no difference who the person is." - Sara Schnirer, founder of Bais Yaakov in Em B'Yisroel 2:75-78.
Yesterday I went to the shul of the Rabbi who we met with after my son came out. I haven't been there in a few months because of the cold weather. The Rabbi gave an interesting talk.
He spoke about love, specifically the love of a parent for a child. It was short and to the point and it hit home.
He said that R. Akliva's students perished because even though they may have loved each other, they did not respect one another. He went on to say that without respect, love is not enough to sustain a relationship. There has to be a balance, he stated, between love and respect.
He concluded his short drasha by saying that it is a parent's responsibility to love a child, but even if the child does not live up to the parent's expectations or even leaves the path, the parent must tell the child that he loves the child and respects what he is doing.
It is incumbent upon the parent to balance his love for his child with the respect due to the child no matter what.
SD
4 comments:
Don't close the blog. It takes time for word to get out in this rather small community of ours.
I silently cry every night, but try to be accepting of my son. He is jealous of his brother as his brother is happy....our life was thrown off kilter. My gay son is going on a Taglit GLBT trip to Israel this Summer and all I can hope is he will come back little more comfortable with himself, perhaps a little happier. Please keep up the blog. It is somehow a little comforting to read. Do any of you feel as if you have been stabbed in the heart?
Don't know when you quote the rabbi as saying that the parent is supposed to respect what his/her son is doing is exactly what he said. Yes, I am not saying that you don't respect your son despite what he is doing. However, to say that one is supposed to respect the son's actions even if he are wrong is giving the impression that what they are doing is O.K. One could still be respectful to one's son or anyone else who is doing wrong actions by simply saying that you respect him, but that this is not necessarily an indication that you are in approval of his actions.
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